Cultural Difference at a Moms' Class

Getting into a group is one of the most important things you can do to minister in Japan. That's why when I learned about the new mothers' class at my city office, I jumped at the chance to participate.

The class brought together women from the same neighborhoods with due dates close together for conversation and lessons about pregnancy and motherhood. Of course, these classes were all in Japanese, but understanding the content was a bonus in my mind. I was going with the intention of breaking into the "mommy" group in my community.

The class itself was broken up into 4 teaching sessions and 1 postpartum play group scheduled for September. I was surprised how much I actually understood from the class. It's probably due to the text book (with pictures!) they handed out the first day. Well, that and the very kind women who helped the confused gaijin (foreigner) in their group.

new moms practicing diapering and dressing baby-dolls

Some of the information was old hat. Things like, eat proper meals that include all the food groups. Some of it was surprising, like finding out that fruit is on the "only eat a little bit" side of the food pyramid, rather than next to the vegetables.

Photo credit: The Food Guide Pyramid

During the class, I kept a running mental note about things to share with you all from my experience. so, for your enjoyment, I present:

"strange and interesting things I learned at "moms' class"

Diet:

I've already mentioned about the food guide strangeness I encountered. I also was not expecting 10 pages of a 70 page book to be devoted to telling women things like "don't eat a lot of fatty and salty foods." In our discussion groups, I got the feeling that these women are terrified of gaining too much weight while pregnant. One woman said it was important to "not eat your favorite foods, so you don't get fat." And all the rest of the skinny Japanese ladies agreed that getting fat would be horrible. The lone American just kept quiet and thought about the candy bar waiting for her in her purse.

Pain relief:

In two of the four class sessions, a woman from my group was brought up for a demonstration. A strip of bleached cotton cloth was pulled tightly around her hips. When I asked my neighbor why, she explained it was for pain relief. Not being satisfied with that answer, I asked when one would do this. I assumed after birth, since I know the Japanese have a tradition of wrapping one's hips to put them back into place after birth. Nope, she said you do it before birth, to ease back and hip pain. I was under the impression that my hips and back hurt because my hips were supposed to move outward to prepare for labor.

I think I'll stick with tylenol, thanks.

Bathing babies:

Using life-like baby-dolls, moms (and some dads) practiced bathing babies

I was really glad we got some instruction and practice on this topic. Since I've never bathes a slippery little baby before, I'm going to assume everything they taught was standard procedure in the US also. One thing I was surprised to find out, though, was how frequently they recommend bathing your baby. When I asked my instructor, she said "Mai nichi" (EVERYDAY!) How dirty do these babies plan on getting? I thought rolling in the dirt was an activity for older toddlers, myself.

The advice does fit with the culture though. Japan is all about their baths. Whole vacations are planned around where has the best "Onsen" (public baths/spa). I'm sure my instructor thought Americans are filthy when I said most people only bathe their babies every other day or so (I think even this frequency is being a bit generous.)

What I learned in a Japanese parenting class

So today Kathryn and I went to the Birth Clinic for a Parenting Class. We weren't quite sure what to expect and were a little nervous since the whole class was going to be all in Japanese. We wanted to go to so that we could learn more and so that we could meet some new friends around our community.

We gradually learned that most of the material was meant for the Fathers, which was interesting since the class was labeled as a parents class

It began with the head doctor giving a speech about what to expect, what the first stages of labor feel like, and when to go to the hospital. We then watched a video produced by the National Japanese Broadcasting company about the importance of Fathers speaking to the baby while it is still inside the womb. It was then scientifically demonstrated how much the baby can hear whats being said outside the womb by making a test subject swallow a small microphone. The Japanese are very thorough! They also showed how even at a very young age, a baby will respond in a special way to his or her dad.


After the video, us men all got to take turns wearing the "empathy belly'. Many laughs were had when grown men were putting on the suit. It didn't matter what language you spoke, it is universally funny to see a man wearing one of these things.

Then it was my turn.

They first wrapped a Velcro band around my chest, simulating the tightness of a woman's chest during pregnancy.

Then came the suit! I couldn't believe how heavy it was, my hat is off to you ladies.



After they put the maternity shirt on me, they made me take REQUESTS from Kathryn. So Kathryn being the loving wife she is made sure to let me get the full "experience".

I had to reach for things on the floor, lay down on my back, march up and down the stairs, get up and down from chairs. If I didn't know better I would have thought Kathryn's old job was a drill sergeant.







I think Kathryn was going to have me start doing some push-ups, thank goodness the time was up and I got to take the suit off.

What was great about this class is that it was all geared towards Fathers and the important role a father has in the life of his soon to be child. Many Fathers are closed off and distant from their children in Japan, and it was great to see how this Christian Clinic engaged the hearts of these men.

Only in Japan: Pregnancy mark

An important part of being pregnant in Japan is registering with your local city/district office. When you do that, they give you a pile of paperwork, a mother-child handbook, and this wonderful little tag to place on your purse.

The Japanese says: Onaka ni akachan ga imasu

(In my stomach is a baby)

The paperwork and mother's notebook were the official reason I registered at the district office. This mark was my "real" reason.

Pregnant women display this mark on their purses to let others know their pregnant. In theory, other people are supposed to be extra helpful and considerate of them.

there are signs all around town giving special perks to women who bear the "ninshin ma-ku" (Pregnancy mark)

This is the most ubiquitous sign. It's found on all public transportation over the preferencial seating area. On subways, trains, and busses special seats must be left open for "the elderly, those with disabilities, those with infants, pregnant women, and those with health problems."

Since getting my pregnancy mark, I've been relieved to always have a seat on the subway or bus. Although, I always make sure to display my mark while I'm seated, so no one thinks I'm just a dumb foreigner who can't read the sign. (I have my suspicions some people think this anyways.)

The next sign is in front of the mall near our home. It reserves the handicapped parking spot for pregnant women as well as people with disabilities. Or maybe they consider pregnant women disabled, hard to say.

I've been told that the mark also allows you to cut in the line at the bathroom. I haven't had the nerve to try this out yet. But I'll let you know how it goes if I ever do.

Only in Japan: 10 Months Pregnant

Did you know Japanese women are pregnant for 10 months?

But, it's probably not how your thinking. Every woman is the world, Japan included, is pregnant for about 40 weeks. The difference is how the western world and Japan count those months.

In the States, pregnancy is counted by calendar months. Every month, is between 4 and 5 weeks long (with the exception of February, which just likes to be different).

In Japan, pregnancy is broken up into 10 4-week "months."

It took me some time to wrap my head around it, so I made this handy chart.

Both systems have their up-sides: counting with calendar months makes estimating a due date much easier. Also, trimesters are broken up more easily into 3 3-month periods.

With the Japanese way, I always know what months I'm in with out having to consult "What to Expect When You're Expecting."

I am 4 months pregnant in the US and 5 months pregnant in Japan.

Luckily for us, both countries also count pregnancies by weeks. To make things easier, I tend to default to weeks when ever someone asks how far along I am.

Adventures in Cooking: Squid

Pregnancy cravings and aversions are a funny thing. They're never what you think they'll be. For example, though I've never been much of an OJ drinker, for 6 weeks straight I craved and drank multiple glasses each day. As for aversions: I never thought, being a missionary in Japan, that Japanese food would wind up on the "get that away from me, now!" list, yet somehow it has.

This little quirk of pregnancy has made life a bit difficult for me, as you can imagine. But, I think my greatest challenge was today's Japanese cooking class.

Today's menu: rice stuffed squid-head, & sauteed squid-tentacles.

I'm sure it has a pretty sounding name, but I didn't catch it while I was staring and the whole, raw squid I was about to dismember.

The last time I was that up-close and personal with a squid was 8th grade biology.

I'll spare you the gooey details. but,

with much prayer, I was able to disassemble, clean, chop, cook, AND eat the squid.

Pictured center: squid-head stuffed with rice

Pictured left: sauteed squid tentacles

the Japanese expression "Ganbatte" (try hard/persevere) has never meant so much to me.

I think today's class may have been the end of my Japanese food aversion. Just to be safe though, I'll still be staying clear of the fish section and the grocery store for now.

Practical language

Language is awesome. The more I learn the more amazed I am at its beauty. Like euphemisms and expressions. I love how there are so many ways to convey the same thing.

Here's a list of my most recent, favorite expressions is English and Japanese:

I'm Eating for two.

I have a bun in the oven.

I'm in the family way.

I'm with child.

I'm craving pickles and ice cream.

We're expecting.

I'm preggers.

I'm knocked up.

My eggo is preggo.

I'm on stork watch.

I'm gestating.

I'm preggtastic.

妊娠しています(Ninshin shite imasu)

おおめでた(Omedeta)

できちゃった(Dekichatta)

Yep, it's true. There's a baby on the way!