Operation Old-Faithful

I've had to reevaluate my methods for starting and building relationships since moving to Japan. In the States, as with everything, we use a more direct method to starting friendships. "Hey, we have something in common, let's hang out some time." It's not always quite THAT simple, but at its root, befriending people in the States can be done relatively simply. Not so in Japan. Here it's all about taking it slow, building trust, establishing routine. It's taken me a while to get this new model through my head. It's still hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that meeting someone once at the mall then asking them to come to English class just doesn't work. My American gut tells me if you want to make friends, just get out there. Go. Do. Win. But like I've said, that just doesn't work here. In fact, trying to make friends that way is more likely to alienate people that endear them to me.


This past summer, during a training session on cross-cultural communication, it clicked for me: consistency and routine. I could meet a lot of people by doing different activities each week, but in order to turn those relationships into friendships, I was going to need to see them on a regular basis.
Enter, Operation Old-Faithful:

Stage one:
Join a mommy-baby swim class at the gym near the mall. See the same moms and babies two to three times, every week.
--Success! Not only have we had a really fun time swimming (splashing and playing with rubber duckies, more like) but I would now consider us officially in the group (Being in the group is HUGE in Japan. Once you're in, you are in! It's when people begin to open up and trust you). Moms from the class have started coming to Oyako Eigo (Parent-Child English) at our church and wanting to spend time with us outside of swimming as well.

Stage two:
Follow up swim class with lunch and grocery shopping Aeon (the mall).  Go to the same shops. Make sure to go the the same Onigiri shop every time.
--Success! We are a fixture at Aeon now. Shop ladies poke their heads out when they hear Jill's squeaky shoes coming down the road. The Onigiri (rice ball) ladies know our order by heart and all come to the register to hand us our lunch.
Bonus: We've befriended a gaggle of Obaachans (Old Grannies) who congregate outside the food court. After we eat, and walk out to do our grocery shopping, they call and wave to "Chiyo-chan" (Jillian) and she shows off the new words she has learned or gives them all high-fives.


Stage three:
Same old park, every single day(-ish). The park across the street from our apartment isn't the most exciting park I've every been to. Just a patch of grass with swings and monkey bars. But, it's where the moms gather, so it's where we go.
--Success! We've had a few really interesting conversations with the neighborhood moms. A few have joined the swim class moms at Oyako Eigo.
Bonus: Jillian LOVES  the swings.

The part of me that wants to explore the other shopping centers and parks around town has been slowly quieted by the response we're receiving.

World Travelers: Wrap-up

I just want to start off by thanking all the families who participated in the homestay trip for my English class. It's something we always talk about over tea time these days and I cherish the memories that we got to build during this experience.

The English trip was an amazing combination of English practice, learning about culture, and experiencing Christian family.

The trip was definitely a whirlwind experience as we only had about 7 days. All were jammed packed with field trips and conversation practice, and fun! I wanted to be sure that they not only experienced the popular sights and sounds of California but that they also experience the more subtle things of American culture.

We were ale to visit the hot spots like Yosemite, Pismo beach, and Pier 39 in San francisco, but we also did some little American things like mini golfing, shopping at target, and dinner at home with the host families.

The host families did a phenomenal job of letting my students get a taste of American culture. Some of my students were able to go to a baseball game, ride in a fire truck, and enjoy the simple pleasure of root beer floats. The host families also coordinated a trip to a wild life preserve on their free day.

I think however, the most important thing that the students took back with them was not necessarily the English practice they recieved, or the fun places they went to, but the personal time with their families.

Each family member was a member of SOMA Christian Church and they really outdid themselves in serving their students. My students talked nonstop on the plane ride home about how loving the families were, and how surprised they were a about how gentle the husbands were especially. One student in particular, "Michi" as her host family nicknamed her, was in tears over how nice her family was.

To be honest my first expectations of the trip was really low. I felt overwhelmed by the responsibility and was very stressed that maybe the students wouldn't like it, or that something would go wrong. But God totally blew my expectations away, He totally amazed me. I have to give Him the credit.

Silly-Jilly: Lost in Translation

Anyone who has ever typed something into Google Translate can tell you, the word you want to use doesn't always convey the meaning you hope it does. Some rare words translate perfectly; conveying the precise meaning from first language to second. Others... well, not so much. "Silly" is one such word.

Sunday at church as a friend, Y, and I bowed to pray Jillian took the opportunity to pet Y's hair and stick her, Jillian's, foot into Y's praying hands. When we said our "Amen"s I told my friend. "Jillian is such a silly girl" in English and gave Jilly a kiss on the head. I asked Y, who speaks fluent English, if there is a  word that translated well for silly. The closest I've been able to think of don't really convey the right shade of meaning. "Tannoshii" is more like fun or enjoyable. "Omoshiroii" is like interesting or enjoyable. "Kawaii" is cute. But silly is more like a combo of the three with a little bit of "Henna" (weird) thrown in.
The word she gave me I didn't even commit to memory because when I asked her if it was a good or bad image, she said bad. Her word translated to something like foolish.

I was mortified. This woman, and how many other English-speaking Japanese people, think I've been calling my daughter foolish! I quickly explained that silly has a positive image. Perhaps in the past it was negative, but now it's "Wee Sing in Sillyville"; it's "Silly Songs with Larry"; it's our own Silly-Jilly. Definitely not negative.

Someone needs to warn Larry that he might not translate well into Japanese.
Image credit 

The whole encounter got me thinking about how many other words, or actions I've been using that are COMPLETELY misinterpreted. Probably a lot. I recently found out that when Jillian waved "hello" to people, even in response to "Konnichiwa" people think she's waving "bye-bye". Poor baby has been inviting people to come play and they've been thinking she wants them to leave. We should probably practice bowing rather than waving, but I hesitate because the waving is so darn cute!

I know I'm bound to make, or discover, more mistakes in my word choice. I just hope none of them give the impression I'm speaking ill of my daughter, or other people for that matter.

Peanuts, Crying Children, and Ogres' Underwear

When we moved here 2 years ago, every one was gearing up for the weirdest holiday I've ever heard of. Let's let that sink in, this is a weirder celebration that pranking friends all day; dressing up and begging strangers for candy; OR even waiting for a rodent to tell us if spring is on the way. Yep, it's THAT crazy, friends!

Setsubun

 節分

The day where children all over Japan are scared witless by big monsters called Oni and throw peanuts at them to make them go away. While the kids do this they chant, "Oni wa soto; fuku wa uchi" (monsters/evil out; happiness in).

Our first week here our host family showed us a home video of the father dressing up as oni and trying to get in the house as the daughters chucked peanuts at him. Well, the oldest threw peanuts; the younger daughter cried and hid behind her mom's legs.

Crying is pretty much a mainstay of Setsubun. Moms I've talked to about it share how the schools have people dressed as oni come so the kids can throw their peanuts. Then they take a class picture, which is mostly a group of red-faced crying children.

Maybe it's like how I think it's hilarious seeing pictures of kids freaking out on Santa's lap.

Image: kleinburtts.com
heartbreaking, yet hilarious

Although, to be fair, people don't expect the kids to freak on jolly old St Nick's lap.



At play group last week, we sang a setsubun song about oni's underwear. It was pretty funny. I told an American friend and she said it was a common song that her daughters learned at preschool, too.

I've found the words for you so you can sing it, too!

To the tune of "Funiculi, Funiculi" (The traditional Italian song)

Oni no pantsu wa ii pantsu Tsuyoi zo, tsuyoi zo Tora no kegawa de dekiteiru Tsuyoi zo, tsuyoi zo Go-nen haite mo yaburenai Tsuyoi zo, tsuyoi zo Ju-nen haitemo yaburenai Tsuyoi zo, tsuyoi zo Hakou, hakou, oni no pantsu Hakou, hakou, oni no pantsu Anata mo, watashi mo, anata mo, watashi mo Minna de hakou oni no pantsu!

and the translation:

Ogres' trunks are good underwear They are strong, they are strong They are made of tiger skin They are strong, they are strong Wear them for 5 years, they won't tear They are strong, they are strong Wear them even for 10 years, they won't tear They are strong, they are strong Let's wear them, wear them, ogres' underwear Let's wear them, wear them, ogres' underwear You, and me, and you, and me, Everyone let's wear them ogres' underwear!

Skinny Santa Visits the Play Group.

Today, Santa came to Nishioka (our little corner of Sapporo, Japan). Not the fat jolly guy you'd expect, though. This Santa was a skinny Japanese man. It didn't matter too much though. The Nishioka play group was filled with joyous squeals as Santa danced, sang, and passed out presents.

Even my little one, only 8 months old, was quite taken with this Svelt St. Nick.

That is until it was time to take a picture with him.

We managed in the end to get her calm enough to snap a pic.

Santa was sure a treat today. The main fun, though, was getting to spend time with Jilly's new friends (and their mothers).

Jillian and her friend M-Chan, born only 2 days apart. 

Being part of this weekly play group has been a great experience for me. It's nice to be connecting with neighborhood women in the same stage of life as me. I think we've even made a breakthrough. They've stopped referring to me as Chiyo's mom, and instead use my real name. I, in turn, get to use their given names too! Such a silly thing to be excited about, but I feel like it means I've made it to the inside of this group, rather than just being a foreigner watching from the outside.

Culture Class: 4th of July

Stephen has been teaching a monthly American culture class to his English students in Chitose. In the past he's talked about things like St. Patrick's Day, Easter, and Mother's Day. Each lesson shares the historical origin, modern celebration, and vocabulary & phrases that go along with it.

This month, the class was focused on Independance Day. 

When Stephen's mom visited, she brought lots of fun red, white, & blue goodies for class.

The ladies we're blown away by our modern celebration of our nation's independence. 

So much red, white, and blue!

I made blue raspberry jello and topped it with whipped cream and a cherry to be festive. I was pleased to learn that they enjoyed their first bites of the classic american dessert. One student even asked me how I made it, asking for specific ingredients. "Did you add lemon juice?"

I smiled and explained that Jello is the easiest dessert in America; just open the box and add water.

Our students showing off their treats

Jillian made an appearance in her 4th of July finest.

a very patriotic diaper change :P

Besides all the sweets and laughter, my favorite part of the class was discussing the preamble of the Declaration of Independence. 

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

It was interesting discussing how the idea of being created equal by God shapes American culture. We decided this line has a lot to do with why Japan and America are so different. In Japan, even the language is structured around the idea superior and inferior. Showing respect is a very important value. Americans are often seen as disrespectful from a Japanese perspective because we interact very informally with our superiors and people older than ourselves. After discussing with the group I think we do this because at the core of our national identity, we see all people as equal, not more or less important, and our language and interactions reflect that. 

I always have such a great time with our Chitose ladies. I am eager for the day when they recognize that they too were created by God. I'm looking forward to our next culture class and what truths we can share!

*If you have an idea for an American culture class, leave a comment. We're always open to imput and ideas. :)

A day At The Park: Photo Post

One of the best parts of our job is getting to hang out with students. Just having fun and being goofy together goes a long way in building relationships and sharing the gospel.

After church recently, Stephen headed out with a group from church to see the cherry blossoms.

Enjoy the photos :)

Only in Japan: 10 Months Pregnant

Did you know Japanese women are pregnant for 10 months?

But, it's probably not how your thinking. Every woman is the world, Japan included, is pregnant for about 40 weeks. The difference is how the western world and Japan count those months.

In the States, pregnancy is counted by calendar months. Every month, is between 4 and 5 weeks long (with the exception of February, which just likes to be different).

In Japan, pregnancy is broken up into 10 4-week "months."

It took me some time to wrap my head around it, so I made this handy chart.

Both systems have their up-sides: counting with calendar months makes estimating a due date much easier. Also, trimesters are broken up more easily into 3 3-month periods.

With the Japanese way, I always know what months I'm in with out having to consult "What to Expect When You're Expecting."

I am 4 months pregnant in the US and 5 months pregnant in Japan.

Luckily for us, both countries also count pregnancies by weeks. To make things easier, I tend to default to weeks when ever someone asks how far along I am.

Snow?

This past week or so, we've been enjoying a sunny 60 degree Autumn, so I was quite surprised to hear that according to Hokkaido tradition, and my English students, Snow is on its way.

Yesterday morning, as I was getting ready for class, I glanced out the window and saw snow. At least, it looked just like snow. Even Stephen was fooled. But considering it was 60 degrees, and sunny with out a cloud in the sky, we decided it must be something else.

(The picture I took was not nearly as clear as this one I found online)

When my students arrived to class, they were all abuzz. "Did you see the Yuki mushi (Snow bugs)?"

So, that's what they were!

My students explained to me that these bugs, only found in Hokkaido, always appear right before it snows.

(Again, not my picture. But, don't they totally look like snow!?)

No one could say how long between Yuki mushi sightings and first snowfall. All they could say was, "mosugu" (soon).

UPDATE:

November 15th, we got our first snowfall. It melted quickly when the sun came up, it it fell non the less. That's 3.5 weeks from seeing the snowbugs. 3.5 weeks does not seem like mosugu (soon) to me.

Only in Japan: convenience stores

In the States I think I can count on one hand the number of times I visited a convenience store each year. Since coming to Japan, convenience stores (Conbini) have become as much a part of our lives as rice. I think we visit a combini 3-4 times a week.

"Why?" you ask. Here are the 5 amazing things you can do at a convenience store in Japan.

5-Buy dinner

Yes, even in the states you can purchase food at a convenience store. Hot dogs and mystery meat floating in funky water, sandwiches from before the turn of the millenium. That's what I used to picture when I thought about convenience store meals. In Japan, many people use convenience stores like 7-11, Lawson, and Seico mart to grab a quick lunch. We do too. When we only have a little bit of time between classes around dinnertime, a conbini onigiri (rice ball) or 2 hits the spot.

4-Pay bills

In the states when we needed to pay a bill, we would write a check and mail it in with the invoice portion of the bill. But, Japan doesn't do checks, like ever!

Instead they take their bills to the local convenience store to be paid. Once a month, Stephen takes our phone bill down to Seico Mart near our home. It nice not having to worry about having stamps. And while he's there he can pick up dinner :)

3-Send luggage on ahead

Why go through the trouble to lugging your luggage to your destination when it could meet you there when you arrive? I had never even thought about this as an option before coming to Japan, but Takkubin services are commonly used here and for not to much Yen. to make it even more convenient, conbinis like Seico Mart serve as drop off locations for luggage delivery services. Although we have yet to take advantage of this yet, it's good to know it's literally right around the corner.

2-Buy discount movie tickets

Family Mart has a kiosk to purchase "dokodemo, itsudemo" (any where, any time) tickets for 300 Yen off the standard ticket price. Yes, Please!

1-Pay for online transactions

How do you reconcile a society that is largely cashed based with on that is all about technology? You want to make a purchase online, but many people (these gaigin included) don't have credit cards. Convenience stores to the rescue!

Many things from Plane tickets to Amazon orders can be paid for at the conbini. Recently we have had first hand experience with both of these services. Having done it both ways, I think I like the convenience store payment method the best.

Only in Japan: Trash Day(s)

Friday was trash day. Thursday night, we'd come home late from something or other, and if we were lucky, we'd remember to drag the can out to the curb. Most of the time I would wake to the tell-tale sounds of the garbage truck crashing and beeping down the street and roll over grumbling that we missed trash day this week. Oh well, there's still room in the can outside, we'll get it next week.

That was then, Before Japan. Now, our lives revolve around THE SCHEDULE and THE RULES. Trash day is no l day a week, it is everyday. And trash no longer is just casually tossed in the main garbage can, it must first be separated into categories and each type of trash thrown away on its specific day.

Before moving, I was made aware of The Schedule and The Rules, but I didn't know the full extent of the madness until we arrived.

The Schedule:

This is a picture of the garbage schedule for the year: color coded, and labeled. Why do we need this much detail in a garbage schedule? Just wait and see...

Trash must be separated into Burnable, non-burnable, plastic, recycling, cardboard, mixed paper and garden waste.

Plastics go out Mondays.

Burnables go out tuesdays and Fridays.

Recycling goes out Wednesdays.

Thursdays alternate between Mixed paper, garden waste, and non-burnables.

Cardboard gets taken to a collection site about a 2 minute walk away.

The Rules:

*Garbage collection is scheduled to occur each morning at 8:30, but will only every happen at 8:30 once in a blue moon, and only after you've gotten used to taking the trash down at 9. Usually on a burnable (smelly) trash day.

*You can not take trash out the night before. If you do, the crows will get to it and spread your garbage everywhere.

*You may not take your trash out the night before, even if your apartment building and a crow proof garbage cage. Why? Because it's the rule.

*If you forget to take down your garbage on the correct day you get to store it in your apartment until the next opportunity. Even if it's the 2nd week in a row you missed plastics-Monday. That's why you have a balcony, and a storage closet outside.

*If you neglect to separate your trash (and someone finds out) your bag will be left in the garbage cage with a red tag. You must then carry your trash back up to your apartment to resort and store it until the next opportunity. (Luckily, we've been spared the garbage walk of shame for the past 7 months.)

Nato is a Four Letter Word.

Want to know what the worst food in the world is? I introduce you to nato.













Nato is a fermented soybean dish usually served for breakfast in Japan. I had the misfortune to try it my first day here. I was still at the airport hotel, so I picked it up from the buffet line. It was in a cup with a sheet of plastic covering the top. Hmmmm that’s strange I said…. But then I soon figured why it was sealed. It smells like a combination of stinky feet, rotten cheese, and curdled milk. And who’d want that smell filling up the breakfast buffet line?














I tried to be a man about it. I ate about half before I could stand no more. It doesn’t look so bad at first, but when you scoop it to your mouth it starts to become stringy! I then made a vow that I would never eat Nato again.

That same day we met our host family and had a sushi dinner with them. I tried to sample each type. I remember one sushi roll looking a little different then the others. When I ate it I began to feel that sinking feeling, “what did I just put in my mouth”? The familiar taste started to wreak havoc in my mouth. It was a nato sneak attack! It was horrible.

Later that night, and this is absolutely true, I had nightmares about nato. I had dreams were I was being forced to eat it, and I was throwing it back up. I woke up from my dream feeling nauseous. And I have never recovered.

Every time I express my distaste for nato with Japanese people, they always respond with the rote phrase “ Oh, but its really healthy for you”! SO what! I’d rather live a short happy life, then a long life doomed by having to eat nato. Thank you.

Point cards: lessons in Japanese culture

Japan loves point cards. Every store, most products, and even some vending machines have a point system of some sort. Apparently they are really helpful, and useful and what not. But this gaijin has NO IDEA how they work!

The bulk of my wallet is filled with point cards. Since I've been told they are really great, I signed up for the free point cards where I shop most often, where they give you the card with stamps every time you make a purchase so you might as well try to keep all the stamps on one card, and where getting point can get you cool stuff.

But, like I said before, I have no idea how they work.

I have the basics for getting points.

When you make a purchase the clerk asks, "do you have a point card." You respond, "Hai, motte imasu." and plop down your card.

Then you get your card back with your change. for my supermarket, book store, and Mister Donut cards the new point total is printed right on the card so I can know that I am 27 points away from my Mister Donut coffee mug (eep!).

(only 27 points away from ceramic awesomeness? must. eat. more. donuts.)

Other places, like our convenience store card, don't print our points on the card. In this case, I haven't the slightest idea how many points we have.

Which, I guess is really fine since my real problem is knowing how to redeem my points.

There is some kind of handy phrase you use you points like money (I think). Something like, "I want to use my points." Only, it's in Japanese.

Some places though, I think it involves going to a counter, using the secret phrase, and perhaps filling out a form of some sort.

(And possibly using these coupons the cashier at the supermarket keeps giving me.)

Then there is another beast.

Sticker points.

(I am not even going to bother figuring out this system.)

Yesterday, a student asked if we had point cards in the US like in Japan

Ummm, no. Well at least not like here.

New Traditions

Everyone has their Easter traditions. Church, brunch, egg hunt, family time, everyone has their own special way to celebrate the rising of the Savior. We were eager and excited to see what Sapporo EV Free had planned.

Usually after church we eat a meal together, often prepared by one or two women from the church. This weekend we would have a potluck. After a wonderful Easter message (and I know it was wonderful, because our friend K translated for us!), everyone got to work to get the potluck ready.

I have never seen so many people in our church's kitchen. Everyone was busy putting the finishing touches on their dishes, and bringing trays, bowls, and plates into the sanctuary.

Would you believe that THIS was not all of the food!?

In the forefront you can see the cookies my friends helped me make. (Side note: have you ever seen someone eat a sugar cookie with chopsticks? I have, and it is hilarious!)

After singing our food prayer song, everyone filled up a plate and found a seat and a few friends to chat with.

In our church, the sanctuary serves as a multipurpose room. To make it extra festive for our Easter potluck, the pastor's wife asked Stephen to draw Rabbits, Eggs, and Basket for the walls.

Here's a pic of Stephen posing with one of his rabbits. (He was making bunny ears. )

The room was lively with conversations. And Everyone was snapping pictures with their friends.

Here I am with 3 awesome ladies from Ch!n@ who are a part of our church family.

I was surprised to find out that our pastor's wife had organized games for the whole group to play after lunch was cleaned up.

Our first game involved trying to get a group of 3 people to fit on a piece of newspaper that got folded in half for each new round. I fell down early, so I was able to snap some action shots of the other groups.

Here's Stephen and his group. They lasted much longer than me and my group did.

Here is a shot of the winning group implementing some serious strategy!

The next game was like the old American game, whose got the button. We passed, or pretended to pass a game chip down a line of people, and the other teams had to guess who really had it.

I probably should have been paying more attention, like everyone else in the room.

The final game was really fun, but totally unfair for the group that had the two Americans. (Our apologies to team "Rice".) It was a version of "Telephone" that involved writing the word on your neighbor's back. But the word was Japanese, and written in Hiragana.

Here's Stephen trying to write うさぎ (Usagi- Rabbit) on his neighbor's back. If you couldn't guess, our team lost.

We had a great time with our church family this Easter. Can't wait 'til next year!

Happy Easter, From the Borbas!